Alright folks, here it is another exciting installment of Tx6. I might have dropped the proverbial ball. You cant blame me though, I’m a huge fan of the stuff and even I have a hard time bringing myself to do this here write-up and expose the unwitting populace to such a visual anal raping. Now I might not have given you fine people an update last week but did you really miss it? Remember to click on the pics to embiggen them! Go beyond the break to feast your eyes upon the atrocities…

First just to get it out of the way is this monstrosity. For your viewing pleasure I give you Devastator. No not the wonderful lime green, Kool Moe Dee glass wearing, tear shit up Devastator you remember from your youth. This one resembles what might happen if say, a crab, a gorilla, a dump truck and one of Michael Bay’s pubic hair were combined in a DNA resequencer. Here is something you will hear me saying a lot of in this and coming articles: missed opportunity.

Alright, on to cocksucker number two. The films villainous lead. The Fallen. Looking like a reject Arabic wrestler who somehow managed to wrest the title from some poor sap. This guy looks like he should be tag teaming with the Iron Sheik rather than menacing humanity and threatening to wipe out the Autobots. Is it just me or does this guy really look he’s sporting some kind of title belt. I don’t know what it would be for, my vote goes for Hardcore champ. A hardcore bout on the can, pushing out a deuce. Missed opportunity.

Finally, you can credit Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen producer Roberto Orci himself with the knowledge that Megatron will indeed return in craptacular form in the second despite being offed in the first. Despite looking leagues better then his silver screen counterparts he still manages to screw the pooch in the aesthetics category. Looking at that left arm I’m still trying to figure out when he contracted polio. On the other hand I am looking forward to a possible reenactments involving Chris Elliott’s character from Scary Movie 2.

Tune in next week when we will hopefully have some official pictures of Jetfire or Sideways (who!?) or some other abortion that looks like a cross between Simon and a paperclip. Enough of this nonsense, quit reading already. I’m sure theres another article about a video game you’ll never play that’s more exciting than reading about toys for a movie you’ll (hopefully) never see.